pioneer plaque

You are welcome to our planet if you are ready to behave exactly as we want you to.

We are aware this is asking a lot but after some thinking we decided that we should not bullshit you too much. After all you have to travel a lot (maybe) and it is best that you know in advance what to expect.

Few things about how we work and how you can fit in:

We sleep a lot, maybe between one quarter to third of our operating time. We never get enough of sleep. Do not wake us up unless it is urgent.

We are hungry all the time so we eat all the time. Do not come between us and our food. It is a big NO NO.

We have a reasonably constant urge to have sex. Sex in fact is very messy, annoying and hard to perform (most of us need privacy to perform it) but we are blessed with a weird and very enjoyable sensation which motivates us to do it often. It is very important not to disturb us during sex. Also please do not try sex with any of humans until a bit later, when we are sure what the consequences are, and with someone who wants to have sex with you.

We need to go to the toilet. Same rules apply as for sex. It is a private moment with some weird sensations.

We believe in private property and we use money to simplify exchange of this property. Money is imaginary or printed on cheap paper, however, it is worth a lot. We respect money and you should respect it too. Humans like to collect property and money, you should not take money or property from any of us.

We have a lot of rules that organize how we do stuff - laws - sort of like these rules for you but much much more. Learn these rules and obey them. You can break some like walk over a street outside a crosswalk but you will still suffer the consequences if something goes wrong or you get caught.

We organize ourselves in groups. We love groups and each of us belongs to many groups. If you want to fit in you will have to choose which groups you want to belong to. This means that there will be groups to which you do not belong to and which dislike you for not being part of them. Deal with it. You can not be friends with everybody.

Try to choose groups with most money and property and whos members have most sex but make sure you do not break the laws.

Do not tell people what to do too much. We do not like that. If you have to tell them what to do than find a way to charge a lot of money for it.

Stay away from poor and cold places - people are miserable there. Focus on rich and sunny places.

That is all.

Hope you enjoy the place.